A Kick and a Clean

Tuesday was tough. A lot of things didn’t go my way.

You notice I don’t say they went wrong. They didn’t. They went painfully right. I won’t go into everything that kicked me in the gut that day, but I think I will write about one. Here goes:

For a ridiculously long time I’d been dragging my feet about releasing Blood Marriage. There were a number of reasons for that, not the least of which was the fact that there were two chapters I felt squeamish about. I’d been searching for a fix, but was paralyzed by indecision.

Tuesday, having already had one of those days,  I thought, “Oh well, I’m already in the frying pan, why not jump into the fire and just finish myself off?”

I printed one of those squeamish bits and took it to my critique group. I returned home feeling like I’d been punched in the stomach.

Over the last few  years, one small step at a time, I’ve been giving up my negative coping techniques. So I’m currently more vulnernable than I wish to be. I actually FEEL stuff. And it’s unpleasant. Though surprisingly survivable. Who knew?

Anyway, without my negative coping techniques, I went to bed still FEELING and woke up still feeling. And in a bout of self-pity, I posted here. And then…to my complete astonishment, I sat down at the keyboard and fixed the squeamish bit.

I hope.

At any rate I don’t feel squeamish about it anymore.

Better still, I had comments by Wendy, Jen, and Annie – who could have scolded me for my little website pity-party but instead wrapped me in kindness and encouragement. You ladies are the best!

That was Wednesday. Thursday morning, instead of doing what I’ve been doing lately – absolutely nothing except staring at the walls and mourning the fact my boys left for college two weeks ago – I cleaned my house. There’s something about a clean house that’s life-affirming, mood-lifting, satisfying, and joyously HOPEFUL.

So. I am writing. In a clean house. And Life is Good!

Brenda Novak Mentorship Contest Finalist Hot Prospects winner Enchanted Words finalist Happily Ever After winner Happy Housewife former homeschooler FlyBaby Bad Mommy! @ www.4badmommies.com

Posted in Regina's Journal
2 comments on “A Kick and a Clean
  1. Yay for a clean house! I had a rough couple of days after my son left for college, too. I’m glad life is good. I think you should load Blood Marriage onto Amazon and other etailers now. I have yet to have a book accepted that I thought was perfect. When I recieve them from the publisher, I read each new book from cover to cover and still pick out sections I wish I’d done differently. But on the whole, people like my stories. They’re not pefect. But neither am I. And the only way I can move on to the next story is by being completely finished with the last one.

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