Note to Self:

Never discuss religion or politics with your college-age children or there will be tears. Lots and lots of tears. And they will all be yours.

About these ads

8 responses

  1. Lecah

    Oh nooo! I need to hear this story!

    May 15, 2014 at 6:42 pm

  2. Hi Lecah,

    It isn’t a particularly interesting story. Not unique in any way. As anyone can tell by reading this blog I’m a relaxed catholic. I pray daily, but I don’t get too twisted up about rules and regulations. I love God. I feel loved by God. That’s enough.

    I thought I’d raised children who also felt a relaxed, but definite connection with the Alpha-Omega. Then I sent them off to college. The one who was the least certain of God became sweetly certain. The one who seemed so solid returned from school a congenial agnostic. The other, who’d also seemed so solid, returned an adamant atheist.

    We got into a discussion over hamburgers and shakes and (so the agnostic says) when my arguments for the proof of God’s existence became too convincing the atheist got angry. No voices were raised. No disrespectful words were said. That isn’t the culture in our household. But the tone and body language and storm off hurt. And I’m not easy to hurt. In fact there are only about a handful of people still living who can easily hurt me. They are the ones for whom I raise no shields.

    May 15, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    • Lecah

      I can attest to the fact that college has a way of reprogramming one’s thinking. I grew up as a Pastor’s kid with lots of questions about God, and going to college only seemed to solidify my opinion that God wasn’t everything I had been taught. It was in the darkest time of my life, at 21 years old, that I had a personal and very real encounter with God. I found my way back, and I haven’t been the same since. I try my best to show my children how to love God, and teach them how He loves them back, but I know that they have to come to their own conclusions about Him. Doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, though. But as a mother, it seems to me that you’ve raised some great kids, and they just have to find their way back. :)

      May 16, 2014 at 10:49 am

      • Thank you more than I can say for sharing your experience. It makes it easier to know that someone else has been there and come out stronger and wiser for it. You are right. I just have to be patient (and quiet) and trust them to find their way.

        May 16, 2014 at 12:02 pm

  3. Wendy S. Marcus

    All three of my children attended religious school. My middle went on for his Bar Mitzvah. My youngest went on for her Bat Mitzvah and confirmation and now teaches in the religious school. My oldest is not religious at all and I’m not even sure she identifies herself as Jewish. My middle is not religious but will attend the occasional service with much prompting and the occasional threat. My youngest has the strongest Jewish identity having also attended a Jewish sleepaway camp and visited Israel. But I worry what will happen to her religious commitment once she leaves for college.

    People I’ve spoken to remind me that I wasn’t religious during college, and although I identified myself as Jewish I didn’t attend services. It wasn’t until after I had a family of my own that I renewed my faith and committed myself to passing the traditions on to my own family.

    Maybe it will be the same with your children. So dry your tears. No matter what, they’re still great kids!!!

    May 15, 2014 at 10:08 pm

  4. Thank you so much for those words, Wendy. You reminded me that though I’ve never questioned the existence of God, I certainly thought religion and faith were of no interest in the college years. My husband agrees with you that they are “exploring” and may feel quite differently in a few more years. Again, your kind words are balm to my mother’s heart.

    May 16, 2014 at 12:27 am

  5. Jen FitzGerald

    Hugs, Regina. Even though all three of my children were baptized by their own choice, only one child attends church. My youngest also claims atheism. :( I hope that someday, he’ll change his mind and acknowledge there is a God even if doesn’t practice a faith.

    May 19, 2014 at 4:07 pm

  6. Like my atheist, yours is still very young. Maybe in time…

    May 19, 2014 at 5:42 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.